Didn't check my mail earlier this week and missed out on some vital voter intimidation from John, Jeanne, and Brittany.

Ah, yup, here we go.

By this time tomorrow I expect everyone to have memorized the names of all 67 Pennsylvania counties. There will be a quiz.

So what's the difference between a ballot harvester and a ballot chaser? Can't wait to see what new grift tomorrow holds.

Just pull up the waistline a little more and we'll have achieved the bromper.

https://www.wsj.com/style/fashion/mens-high-waisted-pants-debate-cb3e6380

What are the electrosensitives going to do now that they're being bombarded by space waves?

https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2024/11/starlink-enters-national-radio-quiet-zone-but-reportedly-cut-off-access-for-some/

I made the mistake of reading the reddit comments on a news story of interest, and holy guacamole, imagine being this arrogantly super smart and also hopelessly illiterate.

https://old.reddit.com/r/politics/comments/1gggvlp/elon_musk_doesnt_show_at_philadelphia_hearing/

Baristas would also once again write order information on paper cups in the thick ink of a Sharpie pen.

Finally. I look forward to the return of getting served coffee in a paper cup marked "Ken". This will surely lead to a surge in business.

https://www.ft.com/content/c6c1ca20-0b35-4e57-bdd2-cbdde8e0f214

Microsoft still struggling to get basic functionality out the door, while honk recall shipped four years ago.

https://humungus.tedunangst.com/r/honk/v/6190fca4d582

Update: the America PAC sent an email that they're working on my freedom check, please be patient.

How fucking dumb do you need to be to text your secrets to a stranger?

Reminder to check all your trick or treat candy for metal straws that will cut your mouth.

https://www.inquirer.com/business/wawa-recall-tumblers-20241031.html

DZ: a terrifying tale to terrify the younglings

Was at my college reunion recently. A current student snuck into the reception and was going around asking everyone, "excuse me, what do you think of all the genocide the university is doing?"

All around her, a chorus of answers. "Excuse me, but you're standing between me and the wine spritz I paid $200 for."

The light in her eyes dimmed to nothing with the grim realization that she was standing in a hall of mirrors, staring at her future self.

Happy Halloween!